ABOUT ME

My photo
Morecambe, Lancashire, United Kingdom
In the mornings I’m a Nursery Cook, the rest of the time a Writer. Been writing for decades: short stories, plays, poems, a sitcom and more recently flash fiction, Creative Writing MA at Lancaster Uni and now several novels. Been placed in competitions (Woman’s Own, Greenacre Writers and flashtagmanchester) and shortlisted in others (Fish, Calderdale, Short Fiction Journal). I won the Calderdale Prize 2011, was runner-up in the Ink Tears Flash Fiction Comp & won the Greenacre Writer Short Story Comp 2013. I have stories in Jawbreakers, Eating My Words, Flash Dogs Anthologies 1-3, 100 RPM and the Stories for Homes anthology. My work’s often described as ‘sweet’ but there’s usually something darker and more sinister beneath the sweetness. I love magical realism and a comedy-tragedy combination. My first novel, Queen of the World, is about a woman who believes she can influence the weather. I’m currently working on a 3rd: Priscilla Parker Reluctant Celebrity Chef. Originally from West Midlands, I love living by the sea in Morecambe, swimming, cycling, theatre, books, food, weather, sitcoms and LBBNML … SQUEEZE!

Saturday 22 September 2018

The Impossible Thing : Diploma!



This week – staying at my parent’s while my Dad was having his operation – I’ve been researching a course I’d like to do. I can find various online courses in this subject and may go for a diploma in Weight Management Nutrition. This is a bit more than it sounds as the course seems to cover a wider range of issues related to obesity than just the nutrition side. There’s a post graduate one but its three grand and 600 hours work as opposed to 100 hours work and three hundred pounds. So diploma it is.

It’s suitable for health professionals, etc, as well as those working in the food industry. I’m supposed to be doing a course on allergies for work which I asked about ages ago but that doesn’t seem to be happening. Another chef within the company (works in a care home in Hammersmith) has asked to do an allergies course too and they are apparently looking into it at head office. I will wait till spring I think, before enrolling. Though I’m sure I could do both at once. And keep up with my fitness regime and finish my novel and submit to agents and independent publishers. Of course!

I already have two diplomas, in Human Nutrition and European Humanities, so Dip Hum Nut (sounds like something off a veggie café menu) and Dip Eur Hum. Might as well do Dip Wei Man Nut too! Well, it could be called that. And I have a BA and MA. Most over qualified nursery cook ever.

But … part of #TheImpossibleThing for me is reading around my subject. Hence all the weight loss memoirs and obsession with news stories and subsequent twitter rants about weight loss drugs.

When I started on my impossible journey I hoped to use my intelligence and determination (and my big head!) to do this. Knowledge is power, as they say. Let’s face it, there are many myths around what you need to do to lose weight. Or rather, a lot of utter nonsense talked. So, it can all help me in my quest for perfection … I mean my quest to be somewhere in the ideal weight range and, as I said from the start ,‘to find out what it’s like not to be fat’.

Also, I want to help others. Whether this is through publishing a The Impossible Thing book or maybe a possible change of career. I’ve often thought I’d like to be a nutritionist, except I was sure you couldn't have a fat one. I don’t know. But this diploma will be interesting anyway.
As well as a lot of hospital visiting and helping my Mum, this week I've been swimming in Cov Baths where I used to swim as a child. Built in 1967, I was swimming there in the seventies and eighties. Now it seems a bit shabby in places and so strange to be back. Its obviously still very much used though. I enjoyed my swims in the Olympic sized pool and my first-time-ever Jacuzzi.
My Jacuzzi tweet just made me laugh reading it back ...
'A swim dress and a Kakoozi don't go. Looked down at myself and decided I'd either put on ten stone or the triplets will be here by the weekend. Air filled the top too. Bit much. Relief to get out and shrink back to my usual slightly more modest size. '
There were some very helpful staff too, as I had locker key problems.
I've also done some nice short local walks and had a fab lunch with my best friend.