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Morecambe, Lancashire, United Kingdom
In the mornings I’m a Nursery Cook, the rest of the time a Writer. Been writing for decades: short stories, plays, poems, a sitcom and more recently flash fiction, Creative Writing MA at Lancaster Uni and now several novels. Been placed in competitions (Woman’s Own, Greenacre Writers and flashtagmanchester) and shortlisted in others (Fish, Calderdale, Short Fiction Journal). I won the Calderdale Prize 2011, was runner-up in the Ink Tears Flash Fiction Comp & won the Greenacre Writer Short Story Comp 2013. I have stories in Jawbreakers, Eating My Words, Flash Dogs Anthologies 1-3, 100 RPM and the Stories for Homes anthology. My work’s often described as ‘sweet’ but there’s usually something darker and more sinister beneath the sweetness. I love magical realism and a comedy-tragedy combination. My first novel, Queen of the World, is about a woman who believes she can influence the weather. I’m currently working on a 3rd: Priscilla Parker Reluctant Celebrity Chef. Originally from West Midlands, I love living by the sea in Morecambe, swimming, cycling, theatre, books, food, weather, sitcoms and LBBNML … SQUEEZE!

Saturday, 28 February 2015

Liebster Award

Stella Turner has nominated me to do this Liebster Award thing, whatever that is …

Eleven random (yet very specific) facts about ME. Endlessly fascinating, eh? Then I answer her eleven questions. I won’t be nominating anyone. Why? See 8] in the first list and 2) in the second.

Me Randoms

1] I’ve only played Bingo once. I didn’t know what I was doing and my friend’s Dad helped me. I won a pair of scissors. They had orange handles like better quality ones but went rusty very fast.

2] As a seven year old on holiday in Italy, I was scared of a one-legged German man and when he got in the pool I got out.
The one-legged German man must have gone to the bar.
3] I was fat way before people started banging on about an obesity crisis. I’ll take the blame for the whole thing.  (Sorry for using the f-word, folks)

4] I’ve seen the band Squeeze nine times. I’ve loved them since 1978. Woman and girl …

5] I have a framed vodka advert (a drink I’ve only tasted once) featuring a young Woody Allen above the fireplace in my bedroom. I’ve had it over twenty years and it cost me thirty pounds from Portobello Market, which I thought very extravagant at the time.

6] I got an unclassified grade for O’level art. I still want to retake. It can’t have been that bad. Sir said I’d get a B no problem.

7] I own clothes I’ve had since the late eighties and still wear them sometimes.

8] I often think everyone hates me.
9] In 2004 I nearly fell off a cliff while walking in the fog in Cornwall. I came inland for my own safety then fell over in the road.

10] When everyone started tying their scarf that new way I vowed never to do so. Why follow the herd?

11] I left Coventry in 2009 and now live in Morecambe. I still can’t quite believe I’m here.

Stella’s questions

1) If you could have a super power what would it be?

I’d like the power to turn all guns, bombs and weapons in general, into cheese and crackers. Think about it. It could work.

2) What quality would you like to have in abundance?

Popularity. Though I doubt I could cope with it.

3) Favourite Actor/ Actress and why?

Christopher Eccleston!

Seen here in I am Kloot video. Now that's acting!



 Why? Full package. Great actor. Seems like a nice down-to-earth person. Beautiful.

4) What is your worst trait?

Pure laziness. I can spend hours achieving nothing. Lucky me!

5) Favourite TV programme?

In the early eighties I was working long hours and split shifts in a restaurant. My Dad had just got a video recorder and I could record things to watch when I got home often as late as midnight. I adored that moment of rewinding the tape and seeing the start of the latest episode of ITV comedy drama, Shine On Harvey Moon. I still love it.




Bubbling under in a how-the-hell-do-I-pick-just-one-Stella? way: Blackadder, Rik Mayall Presents, Citizen Smith, Shelley, Mapp and Lucia (80s version), Roseanne, Early Doors, The Smoking Room, dinnerladies and QI.

6) How would you like to be remembered?

As being funny. That’ll do me.

7) Why do you write and where?

Cos I enjoy it. Right here at my desk.

8)  Do you prefer to shop in supermarkets or local shops and why?

My local shop is great. Two minutes walk away and staff who greet you the moment you walk through the door. In the summer they prop the door open with a sack of spuds. That doesn’t happen in supermarkets, does it? I do go to them for all the stuff the local shops don’t do though. Decent coleslaw. Better choice of yogurts and cheese. Too much choice really. (Don't get me stared on that subject) Yeah, I’d have to say both.

9)  What is your favourite colour and why?


10) Do you approve of social media?

Er, what’s that then?

11) What are you reading right now?

Abide With Me by Elizabeth Strout.

With thanks to Stella for picking me as the person who inspires her. I do my best.


  1. Your answer to Stella's first question - genius. If I had a super-power to give out super-powers, you'd be first in line. I also like answers to 8 & 9.

    1. Thanks, Lindsay. My first thought was teleportation to get home from work in seconds but no, it had to be something to save the world!
      I imagined flying around the world, pointing my finger at a gun that turns to a wedge of Brie in seconds.