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Morecambe, Lancashire, United Kingdom
In the mornings I’m a Nursery Cook, the rest of the time a Writer. Been writing for decades: short stories, plays, poems, a sitcom and more recently flash fiction, Creative Writing MA at Lancaster Uni and now several novels. Been placed in competitions (Woman’s Own, Greenacre Writers and flashtagmanchester) and shortlisted in others (Fish, Calderdale, Short Fiction Journal). I won the Calderdale Prize 2011, was runner-up in the Ink Tears Flash Fiction Comp & won the Greenacre Writer Short Story Comp 2013. I have stories in Jawbreakers, Eating My Words, Flash Dogs Anthologies 1-3, 100 RPM and the Stories for Homes anthology. My work’s often described as ‘sweet’ but there’s usually something darker and more sinister beneath the sweetness. I love magical realism and a comedy-tragedy combination. My first novel, Queen of the World, is about a woman who believes she can influence the weather. I’m currently working on a 3rd: Priscilla Parker Reluctant Celebrity Chef. Originally from West Midlands, I love living by the sea in Morecambe, swimming, cycling, theatre, books, food, weather, sitcoms and LBBNML … SQUEEZE!

Saturday, 31 March 2018

The Impossible Thing : Merely Overweight

Amount Lost : 95 pounds / 6 stone & 11 pounds 

Amount Still to Lose : 35 pounds or 2 & a half stone

Percentage Lost of the 130 Pounds I’m Aiming to Lose : 73%

Percentage of Original Weight Lost : 31.25%

BMI : 29.9

I'd been banging on about it for weeks. Constantly projecting forward to keep myself going. Always looking to the next landmark and the one after that.

I’ve finally reached the point where ‘moderately obese’ slips into ‘overweight’, or, as I like to call it, 'merely overweight'. To put it another way, its step-ladder time!

Yes, I can now use the work step ladders. They have a fifteen stone limit on them. My manager said it didn’t matter but I don’t think she quite realised how far over I was. WAS. I started at twenty-one stone & ten pounds & am now fourteen stone & thirteen pounds, that’s one pound under for the step ladders ‘cos I’ll be wearing more clothes than I wear for weighing myself when I use them.

Yes, there are the bald facts, the bold facts, the facts I didn’t want to mention before. And, the final (Impossible) figure is – will be, could be, should be – twelve stone & six pounds, a pound under the top of the ideal weight range for my height.

I've no idea if this is what that cusp-point between these two states looks or indeed feels like. My cheap but friendly scales tell me and I choose to believe. Though it can’t be right that I’m only two and a half stone overweight, can it? CAN IT? I’ve also realised this the lowest weight I’ve been since I was nineteen when I started putting my Slummin’ Whirled (sic) weight back on. Incredible!


(I’m now wondering if I can, with enough time, get FURTHER into the ideal range. Could I be eleven stone ten, my Slummin' Whirled (sic) target from thirty-four years ago? WHAT AM I THINKING? I’m fairly sure I’ve not been this weight since I was about twelve, maybe even eleven, years old. I think my weight went up numerically with my age in six years of senior school and college.)

(I put that in brackets because it’s really Beyond The Impossible Thing …)

Lately, I’ve had more moments when I can see it. But I still have others where I decide I’ve not lost any and am making a fool of myself for mentioning each pound lost. It’s ridiculous, and similar in some ways to a very skinny person who sees themselves as fat. Come on, lovely brain, keep up.

But I’ve promised myself I’ll hold my nerve and keep going. For me there is no stopping and restarting, there is no ‘I must get back to it’, an expression I heard a lot at a January staff meal out, about either the slimming club or the gym or both. No, just keeping going slowly and as best I can.

Because I’m constantly eating more than I need – I do LOVE food - I have to up my exercise further. And I can. From May I’m going to be a full time member at the Health Club. This enables me to do a second Zumba class on a Wednesday evening and have the option of an early evening swim or two instead of an afternoon one. Once I’ve established that as routine and habit, I’ve promised myself I’m going to try another class, or two or three. Looking at Step, Hydro-fit and Balance, which is a mixture of Yoga, Pilates and Tai Chi, none of which I’ve ever done. That will be a steep learning curve but if I can 'sort of' do Zumba, surely I can have a stab at these? I will only commit to trying once and then I’ll see. But then I said that about Zumba.

Thanks once again for the support everybody. Thank you for reading this, and for liking/commenting on every pound lost. It must be very boring …
A bit of before-and-after-ing. Can you see it?
July 2013

 March 2018
Several times a week – no exaggeration – I think ‘I CAN’T BELIEVE I’VE DONE THIS!!’

Onwards to summer, to the seven stone necklace & beyond …


  1. I can see it! Well done �� you’re inspirational.

  2. I've said it before but I'm going to say it again. You are amazing. I really admire you and love that you still eat lots of yummy things. The only way I can now lose weight is to eat fewer yummy things because although I've increased my exercise I just can't walk fast enough for a sustained period without lots of knee pain which the slows me down. I'm very much slower at swimming too, although I'm doing a bit better. I blame my thyroidectomy for a massive reduction in muscle power! But you are inspiring me to keep trying.

    1. Thank you. So pleased to be inspirational. Yeah, I'm really lucky that I can exercise. Knee-wise - touch wood - I must have very good genes. Carrying nine extra stone around for two decades, doing an active job and walking cos of no car I deserve to have bad knees. Glad to hear you're swimming. I'm not that fast either but any activity is better than nothing. Just keep going back & doing a bit more. Can only do breaststroke so walk a few lengths forwards and backwards. Depends on how shallow the pool is though! Good luck, Lindsay and thank for all your support. :-)